Inside your head there is a programming a set of demands about how things should be and about how you want things to be. It isn't you who decided how you want things to be. The programming was done by your parents, your society, your your culture, your religion, your past experiences. They are the ones that have dictated to you how the world of things and people should be and what your wants and values and tastes and attitudes and desires should be no matter where you go. Your computer, your programming goes along with you and is active and operating at each conscious moment of the day imperiously insisting that its demands be met by the world by people and by you. If the demands are met the computer allows you to be peaceful and happy. If they are not met the computer generates negative emotions within you even when you are not responsible. For instance, when other people don't live up to your expectations, the computer torments you. It torments you with frustration or anger or bitterness. For another example when things are not in your control or the future is uncertain your programming insists that you must experience anxiety, worry. Then you spend a lot of energy coping with these negative emotions and you generally cope be expending a lot of more energy trying to rearrange the world of things and people around you so that the demands of your computer will be met and you will be granted a measure of precarious peace. Precarious because any moment something a trifle a delayed train a tape recorder that doesn't work a letter that doesn't arrive anything is going to be out of conformity with your computer's programming and the computer will insist that you become upset again. And so you live a pathetic existence constantly at the mercy of things and people around you trying desperately to make them conform to your computer's demands so that you will enjoy the only peace you have ever known a temporary respite from negative emotions courtesy of your computer and your programming. The only reason why you are not reacting calmly and happily is your computer that stubbornly demands that reality be rearranged to conform to its programming.

Is it not precisely the peculiarity of human functioning - and its tragedy - that man tries not to face his conflicts; that is, that he does not choose consciously between what he craves to do - out of greed or fear - and what his conscience forbids him to do? The fact is that he removes the awareness of the conflict by rationalization, and the conflict manifests itself only unconsciously in increased stress, neurotic symptoms, or feeling guilty for the wrong reasons.

You locked yourself from inside, you created a cocoon prison from your past. There's no one to fight, you can only be depressed.